Not Me Monday

Howdy folks, I haven’t “not me’d” in a little while. This is a blog carnival started by MckMamma at MyCharmingKids.net. I have no idea why it’s called a blog “carnival” – but it is… So when you are done feeling like a better mom than me, go over to her blog and you can see a whole slew of other denials. By the way, it is NOT Sunday. I mean, it's Monday in Australia, is it not?

Mark is not sitting here contemplating how to make my Sunday afternoon difficult. He did not scheme up the plan to leave me with the van - but take the only set of keys with him to Oklahoma... I did not have to get rescued by Drew and Jeff. They did not leave what they were doing, come to my house, get the extra set of car keys, go to the airport, get the car, bring it back to me, and then go about their day. I did not have to call four of five people before I got these two guys. I did not try to call Mark a 100 times when he was stopped in Mississippi for Chili dogs and ice cream. He will not tell you that he needed fuel and a bathroom break. The real reason is not for the free chili dogs and ice cream. Oh and just in case you were not wondering, I did not/will not rat him out.

Speaking of Mark and Oklahoma, I am not jealous that he is spending a week in a hotel – with maid service – while I’m at home with the kids. I am not thankful that at least I get to go to work and get a bit of a break. I am not going to keep the babysitter for date night and have a date with myself. I am not planning on using aftercare at school at least twice. I am not that selfish (well maybe I am…).

Do not be fooled by Ryan's apparent cuteness. It is not part of his ploy to take over the world. Here is not snuggled on his dad's legs. He acts all cute and innocent and then wham! He attacks - usually in the form of whining - but even better - he gets into your stuff and makes a mess. He does not love to play in the kitchen cupboards, refrigerator, and dishwasher. (Oh, we did not take the boys to Lowe's this week so they could open doors to the refrigerators to their heart's content.)

I am not seriously considering swapping my pots and pans, cleaning supplies, and pantry ingredients with the toys in the toy room. I mean seriously, Ryan has gobs of toys, but what does he not play with? My stuff in the kitchen. So if I swap, will he then play with his toys? How much of a pain would it be to walk to the toy room to get a baking dish? It’s not that far away…

I do not think Zach grew at least half an inch this week. His pants did not fit last weekend. Today, they are not too short. Maybe that was why he was not grumpy last week - maybe he did not have growing pains. He was not a nightmare for his teacher on Thursday. He has not had this teacher for 3 years – and she has not been through many ups and downs with this little man.

I am not freaking out about my ankle or Achilles tendon. It is not sore and I do not have a marathon all paid for and ready to go in April. I am not worried about next weekend’s half marathon in Sarasota. I am not planning on doing some serious cross-training this week and absolutely no running. I am not looking for prayer – even though it is silly. I am not thankful that I worship a God who cares about the ankles as much as he cares about the bigger problems. Speaking of God, I am not totally enjoying reading through the Old Testament. I mean where else can you read about battles where people were killed with a jawbone of a donkey? Or a battle won because the other people were confused and the Israelites did not even have to fight? It’s not cool stuff!

I am not reading Twilight. It is not engaging. (Seriously, vampires and werewolves are not a genre I would choose – but I like this book.) I am not loving the fact that I can talk to kids at my school about this book… Although, I do not not-think these kids should be reading this – it’s a bit “mature” for tweeners. And, gasp, I am not actually getting excited about my cushy position being eliminated and going back to a classroom. I am not actually looking forward to having students again. I am excited now, will I be in October??

And finally, I am not counting the minutes until Mark returns from Oklahoma where he watched an airplane get fixed. Oh yeah, I am not pestering the people at google about my blog being disabled. I am not frustrated that you can’t actually find the steps to get it corrected. I am not secretly hiding a million other things I did not do this week. They usually involve short-temperedness with the family... Oh, and I was not thankful that I listened to my friend Jen's morning-with-two-children stories. I have not had my kids paint their face with Kool-Aid powder the day of school pictures -with minutes to get out the door and get to school. So I am not thankful that it could be worse...

K